above all, don’t panic

Just because the babygirl has an ache in her chest. Just because she had a fever when I picked her up from school. Just because she slept from the moment she came home until it was time for dinner, and then from when she finished eating until she went to bed. Just because ….

Ciel will not get sick. I’m determined. Not this week.

Above all, don’t panic. It seems like these days all you have to do is sneeze and everyone ducks for cover. They shout at you from their hiding places “quick! get to the doctor!” It’s a sneeze people. It’s allergies.

Yes, people have died from this evil disease known as H1N1, but haven’t they pretty much all had underlying pre-existing conditions? I’m sorry people, but I refuse to treat my child’s newly-conceived sickness as anything other than a fever and an ache until I’m moved to take her to her doctor and he tells me otherwise.

exhaustion hits hard

I want to write, but I’m totally exhausted.

Exhausted from the United Way chili cook-off/bake sale fundraiser today, and exhausted from taking the girls shopping for halloween costumes.

They drain me. They are both so demanding of my time, and so demanding of a totally equal share of my time, that they pull me in different directions both mentally and physically.

When I spend time catering to Paris’s needs, Ciel spurts “you don’t care about me, you only care about Paris” and when I’m engrossed in
Ciel’s needs, Paris just takes off on her own. In a store, that’s cause for panic for me! Especially the Halloween store! Yes, I’m both protective and paranoid when it comes to my children. I understand there is only a one in gazillion chance of any of my children being abducted, but why should I let that be an excuse to let down my guard? If I can’t see one of them, I get worried. And I don’t think that’s bad.

I’m going to bed now. I’ve been relaxing, watching VH1Soul and catching up with some great old tunes, and now I need to catch up with some sleep.

united way fundraiser eve

I don’t know how many times I’ve used the phrase “kids say the darndest things”, but they truly do! Ciel was playing with her Webkinz monkey – I thin she was slinging it around her shoulders. Paris said to her “What ARE you trying to do, Ciel?” to which she replied “.. just trying to get the monkey on my back.” Ah, the innocence of youth! If only she knew!

Tomorrow is our United Way in-house fundraiser. For the past couple of years, we’ve had a chili cookoff, and this year is no different. This year though, we have introduced a traveling trophy, which will be passed from winning chef to winning chef each year. It’s actually a chefs hat, rather than an actual trophy – and I meant to bring it home to decorate it, but I forgot it!

I need to go make my chili, and I also offered to make mac & cheese, so I have to make that also. Then I just need to remember to take everything tomorrow! (I also bought cheese and a couple of salsas), and I must remember to take the camera!

Today was a weird day at work. I worked all day solidly, but didn’t get much done. I have no idea what’s up with that. I think it was just one of those “tie up loose ends” type of days.

I was hoping to get to bed early tonight, but I don’t think that’s going to happen!

I didn’t get Paris signed up for basketball yet, but I did get to deliver Ms Evelyn’s birthday gift.

I spent money yesterday! I bought new glasses from Zenni Optical, what a great site! Progressive bifocals w. antiglare lenses for around $50 mailed! I just hope I’ll be as pleased with them when they arrive as I was with the ordering process. My contacts have been really bugging me for the past few days. It feels like I have rocks in my right eye, and nothing I do alleviates that feeling. I get to change them in a few days time, so I’ll see if anything changes then.

Righto! Back to the kitchen!

the road to debt-free

It’s been just a couple of weeks since I cut up the credit cards, and I’m looking forward to my debt-free future with renewed enthusiasm!

Yes, it was hard. I wanted to convince myself that I could keep one card in a draw somewhere because I would surely have a future emergency that necessitated the use of funds I don’t have – but that’s the thinking that got me here.

I, like everyone else, started off with one credit card. When the bank raised the limit for the first time I seriously thought of calling them and telling them that I didn’t need it, and could they lower it again, please. But my “what if” thinking tricked me into believing that I wouldn’t go over my previous limit, and it would be good to have that buffer in case I had an emergency. There’s that word again!

Now, there’s a little history here that you may not be aware of. When I moved from Australia to the US, I pretty much sold everything I had and used all the money I had to get me and my “stuff” here. Rightly or wrongly, I believe the man who told me he loved me and would take care of me. The same man who told me he was “doing fine” – he was working all the overtime he could and was in a position that I wouldn’t have to work. The same man who, I discovered once I could see through the bullshit, earned about $28 an hour, worked many hours of overtime, but couldn’t put food on the table for his family. But that’s another story.

Long story short, when the marriage was over, I had no money, no income, no support, and two babies to feed and take care of. Of course the credit card was a godsend! It enabled me to feed my family, to clothe my family, to pay my utilities … to get by. I realize now that using a credit card is like using a drug. You get to rely on it. Heavily. And I did.

I did OK, I got a job, paid the bills that were left when I was abandoned for another woman, bought a car to replace the one that was given to me as a gift then taken away again, and I bought a house. Yay for me.

But I still have the credit card, and day by day I’m digging a deeper hole.

I thought it would help my bookkeeping skills if I had a credit card that I could use JUST for purchases for the girls. Then I could use that little ol’ child support check to pay it off each month.

MEEP.

Wrong!

The 0% interest was wonderful. But of course it ended.
The theory that I’d use it just for the girls was wonderful. It was just too easy to bend the rules.

Before I knew it, I had one credit card with a $10,000 balance, and one with a $2,000 balance. And I’m barely making the minimum payments each month.

But I can refinance my mortgage!

I set those wheels in motion, and I had joined mint.com to try to get a handle on my finances. Mint.com is fantastic. You can see all your accounts in one place, see what you’re worth, see what you’re spending, and see how to save money. One of those graphs showed me that I could save $2,000 a year on my credit card by switching to a different credit card. So I applied. The deal looked great, zero interest on balance transfers, zero interest for 6 months – how could I lose?

I lost.

What I didn’t count on – and I feel stupid looking back – was that the credit card that I was issued had a limit that was nowhere near the amount I needed to transfer all my credit card debt! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

So, by this time I have a credit card with a $10k balance, a credit card with a $4k balance and a credit card with a $2k balance. Oh, I’m not maxed out on the lower limit cards, I have some wiggle room, but the large one is busting at the seams.

But now the cards have gone. Cut up. In the shredder. No more. And I have a plan. And I have my bills lined up on the wall in front of me according to when they need to be paid. I’m using a combination of the wisdom of Jerrold Mundis and Dave Ramsey.

I’m so confident I can do this. The girls are both aware of the situation and know what’s going on. Nothing really changes for them. They still get their allowance each week, but they have to learn that we’re no longer swinging through the drive through for dinner. We are just really watching what we spend. We are being much more careful with the money we do have, and are putting 10% of my (net) pay in an emergency fund. I’ve come to realize that a credit card is not the answer to an emergency – an emergency fund is much, much better!

My financial health is improving. The holiday season is coming up and I have to make sure that I set some ground rules regarding gift giving and receiving, because I’m not going to get further into debt because of Christmas!

I don’t know how long it will take to get out of this mess, but I’m sure it’ll be less than the 10 years it took to get into it!

Why don’t you check back now and then to see how I’m doing? Right now, I’m ecstatic that I have $100 in my emergency fund! (Ha! No! That’s not 10% of my pay check. I sure wish it was!)

balls! a real conversation with an 8 yr old

An interesting conversation happened on the way home.

Ciel: I wish I didn’t have to grow up.
Me: We should call you Peter Panette.
C: Just because I called my Webkinz wiener dog Wienette, doesn’t mean you should call me Peter Panette!
M: Michaela Jackson?
C: Oooh! You should hear what Mason said about Michael Jackson!
M: What?
C: It doesn’t matter.
M: OK
C: Well, he said that Michael Jackson grabbed someone’s butt.
M: He did?
C: He said “he grabbed someones balls”
[insert hilarious 8 & 10yr old laughter]
M: He grabbed what? balls?
C: Yes – balls. That’s what modern kids call a butt.
M: Ah, I get it. (trying VERY hard not to let a laugh out)

Craigslist: Words of Wisdom

When somebody answers your ad and says “is the item still available?”, they are not the least bit interested in buying what you’re selling. I haven’t yet worked out what they want, but it’s not the tub full of Polly Pocket items!

Similarly, to the plethora of responders who sympathize with you about the fact that you are so poor you are resorting to selling your personal, sentimental trinkets, and tell you there is a better way to make money … HELLOOOOOOO, I never was that attached to the garbage bag full of size 6 girls clothes!

Trolls. They’re not just living under the bridge in Three Billy Goats Gruff Land.

Birthday coming up!

In a few short days it will be Paris’s birthday. October 2nd, to be precise. She’ll be 10. Yesterday was Matt’s birthday. He turned 24.

I really hope that my older children understand how hard it is for me to get in touch with them. All the years I called and left messages for them to wish them happy birthday, and all the holidays I called and left messages, I never heard back from them and seriously doubt they ever got the messages I left.

Last year I asked Kayla to pass on birthday wishes to Matt for me. She accused me of only speaking to her when it made me feel good, and hasn’t spoken to me since. This year, I sent Matt’s birthday wishes through his girlfriend, Sarah, on Facebook. I told her she didn’t have to reply, and she hasn’t. So I have no idea if he got the message this year or not.

I know how it feels to think that your parent, or parents, don’t care about you. I only hope that he gets to find out one day, like I did, that his mum is really trying to break through and get in contact with him.

Happy birthday, Matt. I miss you and I love you.

As one summer closes, another fall opens

… and the kale harvest gives way to the collard harvest. No, that’s not true – there is still kale to harvest, today was just collard day in my garden. I feel like I have accomplished something today. And the aphids were seemingly non-existent.

After finishing work, the girls and I headed over to Noodles & Company to support Retire With Coupons fundraiser – Kimberly does such a good job of engaging people – the place was buzzing! I’m just waiting for the phone call saying I’ve won a door prize.

When we got home, the girls pulled out their bikes for a while, as I split and planted the hostas my neighbor Jennifer so kindly gave me – man, that soil was tough to dig! I’m hoping to turn my front garden, south of the driveway, into some kind of an enchanted woodland scene. It is home to a huge tulip tree, and therefore very shady. I have one hosta planted there already, a couple of coral bells and some pretty, pretty pink lily of the valley.

So, there I was, digging away, chopping through roots – and not tree roots, these are some heavy duty weed roots – while the girls were riding their bikes up and down the footpath. Paris turns to me and said “Do I look like someone trying to be someone else?” She was wearing her white “Lady Gaga” shades with her jacket hood pulled up over her head. She did look very cool, but way too overdressed for 75 degree weather!

I finally got the hostas planted, pulled a barrow load of weeds, and watered the veggie gardens, before harvesting the collards. I love my garden, and I love fresh veggies, but sometimes I wish they could just magically make their way from the garden to the plate, or from the garden to the freezer, without any intervention from me. See, it’s all the water that it takes to clean those collards that bugs me, and the fact that the little caterpillars are hard to see, and they leave little silky threads, and unless you scrub those leaves, you really aren’t cleaning them at all because you can see the water ball up on them like they have some sort of water resistant barrier!

So, I have a foot high pile of collard leaves sitting on a pile of dish towels – I’d rather try to soak up all the water before I have to mop it all up, if that makes sense! Next, I’ll blanch it, and freeze it, IF I have freezer bags. (Guess who forgot to check?)

Paris finished writing her speech for the student council elections. She’s running for treasurer … what do you think?

“Hello, my name is Paris, and I’m in Mr Dobb’s 4th Grade class. I am running for student council treasurer. I want to be treasurer because:
1. I’m very good at math.
2. I want to show Bent School how responsible I can be.
3. I am good at keeping track of things – such as Bent School’s money.
4. I am trustworthy You can trust me with anything except for cupcakes.
5. If you vote for me, the future will be so bright that we will all have to wear shades to school!
6. I have some good ideas on how to make money for Bent School.

And remember, when I think I’m hanging out with the coolest people, I AM hanging out with the coolest people, and I’ll hang out with you if you vote for me, Paris, for student council treasurer.”

Say what?

Me: Ciel, what are you talking about?

Ciel: Oh, I don’t know. My mouth has a mind of it’s own.

What is the “pull” of Trader Joe’s?

Is it just because we don’t have a Trader Joe’s in Bloomington that I need to find one whenever I travel?

I don’t even need to buy much when I do find one, it’s just the thrill of saying “I shopped at Trader Joe’s” and coming home with those reusable bags filled to the brim with stuff that you can’t find in Bloomington! Or, maybe you can find it but it’s more expensive.

So, as I sit here feasting on my Trader Ming’s Jasmine Rice with Green Curry and Vegetables, I cast my mind’s eye into my kitchen, where I see a bottle of Orangina, an empty package of chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzels, a package of Israeli couscous (can’t find it anywhere here in Central IL!), plantain chips, lite popcorn, multigrain crackers, more in the Trader Ming’s Tasty Thai Meal range, and some Joe-Joe’s (same as Oreos) – I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all I can think of! These Trader Ming’s boxes are just delicious, inexpensive, and the perfect size for lunch (or a 10pm snack!)

The Children’s Museum in Indianapolis was wonderful … this was our second visit, and – unlike last time – it was PACKED! I remember on our previous visit we just walked up to the ticket office and bought tickets. This time, we lined up for a LONG, long time! We bought tickets for the King Tut exhibition – and it was well worth the money ($25/adult) and thought that we would eat before we went into the exhibition.

We lined up in the food court after picking out our food, and learned that the cash registers weren’t accepting credit or debit cards, so the staff were manually running the cards. We stood in line for about 20 minutes, and by the time we got to the register, the cashier had had enough and just waved us through!

We had bought food that was “portable” so we didn’t need to sit and eat it, we ate while we were lining up for the King Tut exhibit. I really didn’t expect the girls to be as interested as they were once we were in the exhibit. The crowd was thick, adults didn’t really have much respect for children trying to read the exhibit notes, and it was a big exhibit! We were warned that it would take about an hour to get through, and I think it was incredibly wise of the museum to put the exhibit notes at the top of the display structures as well as at the base!

The exhibit was truly mind blowing. We were actually looking at real artifacts from 4,000 years ago and older! The real thing. Stone that had been carved with tools by an ancient race who had a wonderful eye for detail. A race of people who really knew what they were doing when they formed gold into the most beautiful jewelry. A race with such a respect for their royalty that they buried all their earthly treasures along with the mummified bodies.

….. and then along came modern man and dug it all up.

I’m really not sure how I feel about that. I mean, in one way it is the ultimate sacrilege, and on the other hand we wouldn’t be able to appreciate it if they didn’t.

So, I’m sure I’ll post more on this, but right now I need to go take a shower and head to bed. I have a meeting to go to in the morning.

Oh, and do we love the chicken catcher from Kentucky on “America’s Got Talent”